I long to go where I can feel the immensity of the world.
Somewhere I can be reminded that as individuals we are insignificant, but to
one another we are often invaluable. There’s a special kind of intimacy to it. I
need to know that I’m a part of something bigger. That’s where I find solace.
Replace these stars with the city lights. Set flight to my dreams. Ignite the
sky.
The best things. The things we build up so much. The things
we are endlessly passionate about. Those things have the power to enrage and
overjoy us. To improve and deploy us. To
make and destroy us. I’ve always believed in having dreams so big that the
ladder needed to reach them is seemingly never ending. Turn away from the task
or climb rung by rung, step by step? The latter
is daunting but it’s what I prefer, what I need, what I believe in. Entertain
my faith. Faith is all relative. Defined only how you see fit. Faith in people,
faith in dreams, faith in a sacred place. The only place I know who I am, who
I’m not, and who I’m trying to be. A sanctuary of sorts.
I have much to sort out. Life, none of it and all of it, all
at once. Caught in the limbo of anticipation. Constantly on the brink of
change. Change everything. Nearly 17 short years. Young, but I’m not that bold.
I’m not sold on the status quo. When all is said and done, and the caps have
flown, what will be left to show? You can keep your prom queens and quarterback
boyfriends. The illusion will be
shattered. Will you be cut by the glass? Astonished when you realize none
of it was built to last? Get drunk, get laid. Party it up. #YOLO? Hell no. Screaming
shut the hell up. Grow up. Grow up. But not a sound escapes these lips. Nothing
more than a girl who gave up trying to fit in. How many friends you have means
nothing in the end.
I often said just wait, they’ll see. High school isn’t all
it’s made out to be. At least not for me. One day after another, deciding who
we’re going to be. Actions speaking so much louder than words. Words aren’t
appreciated, words are merely heard. The
art of listening has been lost. Everyone demanding to stand atop their own soap
box with nothing intelligent to say. Go back to bed. You’re drunk, hung over,
blazed, dazed. I’m crazed. Make it stop. You live your life and I’ll live mine.
Now that’s just fine. My dreams mean too much to me to waste on your
immaturities.
I’ll be gone soon
enough. Leaving all I know behind. I find one thing to be unmistakably true.
I’ll be leaving all of you. I could lie and say I’m sad to go. But no. Nothing
good comes from lies. A strong moral’s demise. I can’t wait for the end, so
that I can finally begin. Replace these stars with the city lights. Set flight
to my dreams. Ignite the sky.
